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007 – Pornography: A Secret That Can Destroy Your Marriage

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Are you aware of the destructive force that pornography can have in your marriage?

  • 28,358 individuals are viewing porn every second
  • Internet porn generated $2.84 billion in 2006
  • 70% of porn is viewed between the 9-5 eight-hour workday
    (LJ INdex, September 2007)

Pornography not only distorts your perception of your spouse, but it also creates unrealistic and unattainable expectations.  It is NOT harmless as so many want to believe.  Regain intimacy in your marriage by making your spouse your ideal lover.

Find freedom from sexual impurity at Setting Captives Free.

XXXchurch is designed to bring awareness, openness and accountability to those affected by pornography.

The Bondage Breaker®

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Comments

  1. Ron and Barbara says:

    Wow. Great podcast this week Tony and Alisa. Thank you for your courage Tony in sharing your story, and to both of you for being so open and real.

  2. Thank you Ron and Barbara for your encouraging words. Getting this from you lets us know that we are doing what we need to do to help marriages become ONE. We are thankful to have you guys as part of the community.

    ~Tony

  3. God bless you both for your courage to share your story and to speak the truth about God's plan for marriage. Thank you, thank you, thank you! This week's message hit home and put a name to some issues we didn't even realize we had in our marriage. Truly amazing how God works.

  4. Kerrie, you are most welcome. You are absolutely right that God works in amazing ways and we are glad to hear that having listened to this particular podcast enabled you to identify what is going on in your marriage.

    Thank you for joining us at ONE and being a part of our community.

    ~Alisa

  5. Awesome!!! It was hard talking about this subject, but I knew it would make a difference. Reading your comment tonight puts a smile on my face knowing out podcast has helped you guys out. Your marriage is in the light and God is at work. Love it.

    ~Tony

  6. jlukasavige says:

    You guys are amazing for sharing this story. I know it's going to go far and help mend so many relationships. Thanks for all you do!

  7. Your welcome Justin. This was a tough subject to discuss, but now that we have it is truly amazing to see God's hand at work.

  8. Wow Tony and Alisa! I commend you both for the openness and the courage it took for both of you to share this information with all of us. Tony, thank you for the challenge to men regarding facing their use of pornography. Tears streamed down my face as I heard the passion in your voice as you challenged the men listening. Alisa, you have truly let God work in you for you to respond after the initial shock with such love. To know that it had only been a month since you had heard the confession of Tony's thoughts regarding the women at the hotel and hear the two of you be so real, it was amazing. I will certainly keep you guys in prayer. The devil will attack especially when you are doing God's work. Keep it up!

    God Bless, Kim

  9. Kim,

    I'm glad that you were able to listen to this podcast. It's true that only through God's power would I be able to release such a tremendous blow and realize that this is indeed the work of the devil. We are aware that the more we try to help couples the more our own marriage is under attack. Tony is incredibly passionate about men facing their issues and making this change in their lives. Thank you for your prayers and for taking the time to listen.

  10. Thanks for point out this podcast on my recent posts on the effects of porn in marriage (http://wp.me/pgTZD-ix). Very personal and insightful–and hopefully of help to others. I've heard some feedback that as long as porn is viewed together, it's not problematic to a couple. How do you respond to that? I assume from your sharing that you would say it still distorts your perceptions of sex. Stay in touch. Best to you.

  11. Lori – Thanks listening to our podcast. Podcasting is a great time for us to have some candid conversations about our marriage. Porn was one of those topics that we have dealt with together and separability. The viewing and reading Penthouse Letters was all my idea. Reading the stories even though they were not visualized by me it would take me to a fantasy land where Alisa wasn't the women I was making love to. It was someone else. Because of how I would fantasize about other women while making love I believe that viewing porn as a couple isn't a good thing. It allows couples to not have to be in the moment with the one they are making love to. Alisa has told me that she could tell when I was not thinking of her, but someone else. This made her feel inadequate, which would then lead to a sub-par love making session at best.

    I had this conversation with my cousin yesterday about viewing porn with your spouse. Make sure to listen to Episode 014 to listen to my take on what she had to say.

    Thanks

  12. Alisa and Toni- Marriage can and does survive pornography, and I am so thankful that God reached down and pulled us from that fire. 2 years ago I found my husband had an addiction, and my husband when confronted with the truth after I found out, chose love, chose me. Even recently however we struggled with it again, and yet again are overcoming it together. It hurts deeply every time. But everytime I know God will heal and restore. I pray it never happens again, but I also know its the new us. This is something that we just have to manage daily as a couple. We continue to get help and have warriors praying for us. I will say, that despite the obstacles to this (and Toni’s story aligns almost exactly to my husbands story) we have never been closer. So not only can a marriage overcome it, but for us (and you) we have come out on the other side stronger and more in love, and closer to the Lord as well. Without HIM it would have been impossible. My husband and I are not ready to come out publicly like you have, but one day I pray we can help those going through it. Coming out with it so publicly had to have been hard. So congrats. Love you!

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