Stop Arguing With Your Spouse

Learn a simple, easy strategy that will stop escalation in its tracks, spare your marriage of tons
of unnecessary stress and drama!


This report cuts to the chase. It’s pure, no-fluff, actionable information. Once you read it, you
can apply it within minutes! Includes an easy-to-use 6-point checklist to help you
stay on track.

139 – Position It This Way

Play

Trying different positions while making love is something that we struggled with early on in our marriage. Since we learned little about the birds and the bees it is no wonder we had a difficult time when it came to different positions.

Have you experienced a wall when it comes to trying new positions in your bed?

We totally get it! In this episode we talk about the fears each of us face when it came to trying something new. Over the years we have experimented more and we’ve found our go to positions that we enjoy. We share them with you.

It’s now your turn to get out of your positions box and experience something new and exciting.

What hinders you from experiencing a new position?

Right click to download | Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question
Call (858)876-5663

m4s0n501

Comments

  1. I just realized something which is helping me enjoy sex with my husband. Here it is: in the past when we tried new positions I would get frustrated because I wouldn’t orgasm in the new position and neither would he. I would feel like a failure, something I have a seriously hard time with. But now I have a new perspective. New positions don’t have to be about reaching the finish line. Sometimes new positions are a bit tricky and this is actually good because it makes me focus on the moment and my husband. The physical challenge of something new grounds me and helps me connect with my husband more fully. Thanks again for the physical and mental challenges! Plus we can always orgasm in the tried true positions. Sara

    • Awesome Sara!!! You hit this right on the head when you say that you don’t need to orgasm in a new position. It’s hard enough trying to stay focused on the new position and to enjoy it as well.

      We super excited that you are going to give yourself some grace when you don’t finish up in a new position. You’re not a failure at all. You’re experimenting and changes take time to learn. Like you said you can always go to a position that satisfies both of you.

  2. Joseph (and Jean) says:

    Hey guys,

    I am only 6 min into this podcast and I wanted to say that I am excited for you both and the direction your ministry is going. I have been listing to you from almost the beginning and it has been great to see you grow into this. One of the things that attracted me at 1st was that you were a real couple and didn’t hold back what was happening in your lives. You have been through some rough times but I foresee great things in store for you both!

    Joseph

    • Joseph and Jean, both of you have been encouraging us over the years and it has been so appreciated. ONE has grown because of your support and love. As we grow it is our hope and desire to be able to meet you, talk to you, and say “we love you guys” in person.

      Thank you for continuing to believe in us.

      Love you guys.

      • Joseph (and Jean) says:

        Thank you! It is usually just me, Joseph, who listens most of the time but I love sharing with Jean what was in your podcast. :)

        Joseph

  3. Joseph (and Jean) says:

    Listening to your podcast today prompted me to take down some notes about Jean and I and our struggles over our years. 21+ years of marriage.
    (This reply also turned out much longer than I expected, and went beyond just sexual positions. Unless you count emotional and relational positions as well)

    This is not about boasting, considering the topic, as we have had our struggles when it comes to sex and marriage. Some of them were bad, including a 2+ year period were we had no sex at all. I hope that this is not TMI, but you guys were pretty open so I will be too. I hope that what we went through can help others.

    Jean has always been open to trying any sexual position I want. We have the lights on almost all the time and I always have my eyes wide open. Her eyes tend to stay closed because of the intensity of the sensations and she can’t see much without her glasses anyways. Her only fear about new positions was if she could figure out what it was I wanted to do, plus that she’s not the most athletic or limber person and is self conscience about that. (She has always been reluctant to do anything, not just sex, when she is not exactly sure what she is doing.) I have learned that I have to be very clear about what I want to do when trying something new. Jean doesn’t like to talk about sex when we’re not actually having sex, so I bring these things up while we are engaged in the act. It’s what works for her, though I understand this may not be true for most.

    A typical round of sex for us goes something like this. We start out missionary as it’s easier that way for her. I then lift up her leg and swing it over so she is on her side in what is called the “leg glider” position. From there we move to where she is laying on her front while I lay on top of her back. She lifts her behind to facilitate entry. From there we move up to doggie style with her legs together and mine on the outside of hers. This is her favorite position and she gets the most stimulation this way. All this without losing PIV contact. We finish in this position almost 100% of the time.

    I have never suffered from early ejaculation problems. I actually have had a tendency to take too long, to the point where it has become a problem as I have gotten older. I am over 51 years old. Jean is 7 ½ years younger than me. Often now I am not able to have an orgasm at all which has been frustrating for the both of us. This has been getting better though due to recent developments between us. More on that later.

    Our major struggle when it came to sex had to do with initiating and responding. Jean has always been a responder and only a responder. This has resulted in many misunderstandings and hurt feelings over the years. even as recently as just a few months ago. When your wife is only a responder it makes you wonder if your spouse is even interested in sex, or if she finds you unattractive. This leaves you open to temptations like pornography, which I fell into, and other things. We, both of us, didn’t understand why she was a responder only and needed me to initiate 100% of the time. Having to be the initiator all the time can be very tiring. It was also extremely confusing to me as Jean is very responsive in bed and has always been multi-orgasmic. I didn’t understand how she could be like that and yet not want sex all the time (call that “reasoning like a guy”).

    Jean wasn’t able to verbalize why she was this way either, though she did say something to me the first few months of marriage that in hindsight explains it. I had asked her for oral sex and she said “No!”. I asked her why not, she had done it before. This is what she said: “Stop asking me and start telling me”. I didn’t get it, and it took me, and her, years to totally get it. She wanted me to initiate all sex. If “no” was not the answer I wanted from her then I should never ask. I should just tell her what we were going to do, or tell her to do it. She eventually came out and told me that that is what she wanted all the time from me. What she needed for sex to really work for her.

    I had a real problem accepting and understanding this. It took most of our marriage. Eventually I swung around to her way of thinking and started to enjoy taking control in our sex life, but I held back. I felt that there was something wrong with doing it this way. When it came to our sex life, and me now enjoying taking control, she said to me: “Just because you want it doesn’t make it wrong”. She finally understood her sexuality and she really loved it when I was the initiator and the aggressor when it came to sex. The more I take control the more she enjoys it. This can range from gentle sex to sex that it more aggressive, more primal. Her enjoying sex the way she does now had also helped me with my orgasm problem. Now I have having them most of the time, instead of them being the exception.

    Since we have been doing this she has been responding differently and has a more sex positive attitude. Not just emotionally, but physically as well. One position I wanted to try in sex was her legs over my shoulders. She has never been able to do this. She either wasn’t flexible enough or I penetrated to deep hurting her. (She is petite) Now, she has no problem with this position. She can do it, enjoys it and it isn’t painful at all for her. She is also always ready, physically, for sex about 99.9% of the time. It’s like I have been engaging in foreplay even if I haven’t. It’s like a switch went off in her head. She actually told me that handing 100% of her sexuality over to me was a great relief for her. That it felt like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders, because now she could no longer disappoint me because she had turned me down. That turning me down was no longer an option for her and that’s how she liked it.

    I can’t argue that it hasn’t worked because she is a much more sexual person this way, which I love!
    However, I would be lying if I didn’t say that it can still be tiring to be the initiator all the time.

    Joseph

    P.S.
    This even affected the Seven Days of Sex Challenge for us. I have not told you guys this.
    Last year we took the challenge and it worked out VERY well for us. However, she didn’t know we were taking the challenge. I just told her that we were going to have sex for 7 days in a row. It turned out to be 8.
    This year I told her all about it and it didn’t work out so well for us. She really doesn’t like to talk about it, she just likes for me to initiate and do whatever I want with her.

  4. Joseph (and Jean) says:

    Looking at this a day latter I realized I was venting somewhat.
    Sorry about that.

    • Nothing to be sorry about Joseph. I found this very insightful and I’m sure for you it was good to write this down so you can see the stages you’ve gone through when it comes to sex in your marriage. I thank you for trusting us with you. To open up like that and share means a ton to us.

  5. Joseph (and Jean) says:

    Thank you. It was bursting to get out after listening to you podcast.

Speak Your Mind

*